News Vérité

Food prices are up 10 percent since Trump 45 left office. Now, almost all of that can be attributed to Joe Biden, but when Trump 47 claims to have licked “the worst inflation in history,” two truths stand out: 1) Nixon-Carter inflation was worse than Biden’s, and 2) Other than egg prices, food prices under Trump have either stayed the same or risen, and risen considerably when it comes to beef and coffee. Therefore, Mr., Mrs., and Ms. America — and the “he, she, it, and they” versions as well — when you go to the grocery store, load up on eggs. You will enjoy your newfound egglicious diet, and your pocketbook will thank you for it.

Maybe those highly favored Canadian hockey players, fresh from a shocking defeat by Trump USA in the Winter Olympics, may be the first in line. Canada now offers instant assisted suicide. You may have to wait weeks to see a doctor, but the Grim Reaper is at your beck and call daily. The country’s assisted extermination system, known as Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD), has become one busy little beaver, er, grave digger. The Chief Coroner’s Medical Assistance in Dying Death Review Committee in Ontario Province recently revealed how death on demand works — and works quickly. Just-released 2023 statistics for that province alone show that, on average, 65 people were euthanized the very same day they requested it, while another 154 bit the bullet the day after applying. That’s about 200 dead on demand in 24 hours in just one province. Not bad for a medical system that can make you wait weeks or months for life-saving surgeries or treatments, forcing Canadians with money to come spend it on medical services in hated Trumpland. Catch this: Before 2021, you had to wait a whopping 10 days for the Reaper to see you, but that year, the Canadian Parliament passed

In a stinging rebuke to President Trump following his 2026 State of the Union Speech, the Supreme Court ruled that presidential speeches longer than 30 minutes defy the authority granted under Article 2 of the Constitution. The vote was 9-0. “Despite 1st Amendment free speech rights, the U.S. Constitution severely limits a president’s authority to bore a nation to death,” the unanimous ruling stated. “Speeches longer than 30 minutes violate the citizenry’s rights to ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’. For two hours, no one without a streaming service was able to pursue any form of happiness if he or she did not like being subjected to a one-hour-forty-seven-minute rant full of lies, damned lies, and statistics [thank you Mark Twain].” Trump immediately vowed to disband the Supreme Court, calling the justices all traitors. He also immediately scheduled a nine-hour speech and defied the nation’s network and cable television channels from not airing it. “I will lay forth every fact proving that America is the hottest nation on earth,” Trump vowed. “Nine hours might not be enough, but don’t dare change that dial!”

“I’m in charge here!” President Donald J. Trump shouted — reminiscent of the late, not-so-great Alexander Haig — as he was carried out by medics to be taken to the hospital with a suspected onslaught of Tariff Derangement Syndrome — TDS! “You can’t do this!” the presidential shouting continued as he was wheeled out of the Oval Office. “We have the hottest nation in the world. There’s $18 trillion in foreign investments at work right now. I negotiated eight peace settlements. I’ll get those ingrates on the Supreme Court who think they can do this to me. I’ll raise tariffs 1,000 percent. I’ll show them!” The often-fatal disease struck the president just hours after the Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that he lacked authority to raise tariffs under IEEPA, the International Economic Emergency Powers Act, and after he took to the TV to denounce the justices who voted against him, vowing tariff revenge. Trump is only the second president to be overcome by TDS. The other was William McKinley, who also levied high tariffs as a means of American economic might. Trump often cited McKinley as he raged against other nations that charged the U.S. higher tariffs than we charged them.